Why Out-of-Network Therapy Might Be More Affordable Than You Think

When people see “out-of-network,” they often assume therapy will be too expensive. But in reality, using an out-of-network (OON) therapist can sometimes be surprisingly affordable. Here’s why:

  • Insurance Reimbursement: Many plans reimburse a large portion of OON therapy costs after you meet your deductible.

  • Fewer Limitations: OON therapists aren’t bound by the same restrictions insurance companies place on in-network care, which often means longer sessions and more personalized support.

  • Health Savings Accounts (HSA/FSA): You can often use pre-tax dollars to pay for therapy, lowering your overall cost.

Before ruling it out, check your benefits—you may find that OON therapy costs about the same (or even less) than you expected.

How Partners Can Support Moms with Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression (PPD) can feel overwhelming, but a partner’s support makes a big difference. Here are simple ways to help:

  • Listen without judgment – Be present and let her share feelings.

  • Encourage rest – Handle baby care or encourage naps when possible.

  • Take on tasks - help prepare meals/snacks, cleaning, laundry, etc

  • Validate her experience – postpartum is hard!

  • Support therapy – Encourage professional help and join her if possible.

  • Care for yourself – Your well-being matters too.

Small acts of care—whether listening or helping with daily tasks—can make recovery feel lighter. If your family is navigating PPD, therapy can help both mom and partner find relief.

Maternal Gatekeeping: What It Is & How to Find Balance

Becoming a parent changes everything…. your routines, relationships, and identity. Many new moms want to give their baby the very best, which sometimes leads to maternal gatekeeping — controlling or limiting a partner’s involvement in caregiving.

What Is Maternal Gatekeeping?

Maternal gatekeeping happens when a mom:

  • Redoes tasks after her partner (e.g., re-dressing the baby, folding the laundry a certain way)

  • Gives constant instructions or corrections

  • Takes on most caregiving even when help is available

This often comes from love, worry, or wanting things done “right,” but it can leave moms burnt out and partners feeling left out.

Why It Happens

Maternal gatekeeping can stem from:

  • Anxiety or perfectionism — wanting to protect the baby

  • Cultural pressure — feeling you “should” do it all (social media doesn’t help)

  • Lack of trust or confidence in a partner’s skills

Why Balance Matters

When both parents are involved:

  • Babies build strong bonds with both caregivers

  • Moms experience less stress and more rest

  • Couples feel more connected

Tips to Reduce Gatekeeping

  • Pause before stepping in — let your partner try their way (this can be hard!)

  • Show appreciation for effort, not just results

  • Talk openly about expectations and divide tasks together

  • Ask for help when you need it

Sources & References

  • American Psychological Association (APA) — Fathers’ Involvement and Maternal Gatekeeping
    https://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/newsletter/2010/12/gatekeeping

  • Schoppe-Sullivan, S. J., et al. (2008). Maternal gatekeeping, coparenting quality, and father involvement. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(2), 389–398.
    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18855510/

  • Allen, S. M., & Hawkins, A. J. (1999). Maternal gatekeeping: Mothers’ beliefs and behaviors that inhibit greater father involvement in family work. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 61(1), 199–212.
    https://www.jstor.org/stable/353894

  • Postpartum Support International (PSI) — Resources for postpartum mental health
    https://www.postpartum.net

What Is “Mom Brain”? Understanding the Mental Fog After Baby

If you’ve had a baby and feel forgetful, distracted, or mentally foggy, you’re not imagining it — you might be experiencing what many call “mom brain.” I personally have had it..twice! It does get better.

Also known as “baby brain” or “pregnancy brain,” this term describes the memory lapses and mental fatigue many new parents experience during pregnancy and postpartum.

Why Mom Brain Happens

Research suggests “mom brain” is real and normal. After birth, your brain goes through major changes to support bonding and caregiving. At the same time, the lack of sleep, hormonal shifts, and emotional stress can make it harder to concentrate and remember things.

Common signs include:

  • Forgetfulness or mental fog

  • Trouble focusing

  • Feeling scattered or distracted

  • Needing more reminders than usual

What Helps

  • Prioritize rest whenever possible (easier said than done!)

  • Write things down or use phone reminders (I use my iphone to-do list religiously)

  • Ask for support from friends, family, or your partner

  • Be kind to yourself — this phase is temporary

Mom brain is a sign your brain is adapting to care for your baby, not that something is wrong. Over time, your memory and focus usually improve.

Sources and references

  • Hoekzema, E., et al. (2017). Pregnancy leads to long-lasting changes in human brain structure. Nature Neuroscience, 20(2), 287–296.
    https://www.nature.com/articles/nn.4458

  • de Lange, A.-M. G., et al. (2020). Brain structure and maternal behavior in the postpartum period. Nature Communications, 11, 6323.
    https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-020-20115-6

  • American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Your Postpartum Brain.
    https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-latest/your-postpartum-brain

What is postpartum "mom rage"?

Many new parents experience strong emotions after having a baby — and sometimes, this includes intense anger or irritability, often called “mom rage.”

Mom rage can show up as:

  • Feeling frustrated or on edge over small things

  • Snapping at loved ones easily

  • Irritability that feels overwhelming

Why Mom Rage Happens

Postpartum anger is common and usually stems from:

  • Hormonal shifts after birth

  • Sleep deprivation and exhaustion

  • Stress from adjusting to parenthood

  • Feeling unsupported or overwhelmed

These feelings are a normal part of the postpartum period, but when left unmanaged, they can affect relationships and daily life.

Coping Strategies

  • Acknowledge your feelings without judgment - it’s hard being a mom!

  • Take short breaks when possible, even a few minutes (examples: trying listening to music while feeding, going for a walk outside, etc)

  • Ask for support from your partner, friends, or family

  • Prioritize sleep and self-care as much as possible - easier said than done!

  • Seek therapy if anger feels intense, frequent, or uncontrollable

Mom rage doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom — it’s your body and mind adjusting to enormous changes. Support and strategies can help you manage anger and feel more in control.

Sources and references

  • American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Mood Disorders in the Perinatal Period.
    https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/mood-disorders-in-the-perinatal-period

  • Postpartum Support International (PSI). Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders.
    https://www.postpartum.net

  • Stack, S., & Meredith, T. (2020). Postpartum anger and irritability: Maternal experiences and coping strategies. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 38(4), 395–409.

Postpartum Depression vs. Postpartum Blues: Understanding the Difference

Bringing a new baby into the world can be exciting, overwhelming, and exhausting—all at once. It’s common for moms to experience a rollercoaster of emotions during the postpartum period. But how can you tell if what you’re feeling is the typical “baby blues” or something more serious like postpartum depression?

Knowing the difference can help you get the right support and care you deserve.

What Are the "Baby Blues"?

Postpartum blues (or the "baby blues") are very common after childbirth. Up to 80% of new moms experience them.

Symptoms of baby blues can include:

  • Mood swings

  • Tearfulness or crying easily

  • Irritability

  • Feeling overwhelmed

  • Trouble sleeping (even when the baby sleeps)

  • Anxiety or restlessness

Key facts:

  • Baby blues usually start within the first few days after birth.

  • Symptoms are typically mild and last about 1–2 weeks.

  • They often improve on their own with rest, support, and self-care.

What Is Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression (PPD) is more intense and longer lasting than the baby blues. It’s a mood disorder that can affect anyone after childbirth, and it often requires professional support and treatment.

Symptoms of postpartum depression can include:

  • Persistent sadness or hopelessness

  • Significant anxiety or panic attacks

  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities

  • Difficulty bonding with your baby

  • Feeling like you’re not a good parent

  • Changes in appetite or sleep

  • Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Key facts:

  • Symptoms usually appear within the first few months postpartum but can start anytime in the first year.

  • Unlike the baby blues, PPD symptoms last more than 2 weeks and interfere with daily life.

  • Postpartum depression is not your fault, and it is treatable with therapy, support, and sometimes medication.

When to Seek Help

If your feelings of sadness, anxiety, or overwhelm last longer than two weeks, feel intense, or are getting worse, it’s important to reach out for professional help. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Therapy can provide a safe space to talk about your feelings, learn coping tools, and feel supported as you navigate new parenthood.

Resources for Support

If you’re struggling with postpartum depression or are worried about your mental health, you are not alone and help is available. Reaching out is a sign of strength.

  • Postpartum Support International (PSI)
    Offers a free, confidential helpline and connects you to local support groups and therapists.
    📞 Call or text 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD)
    🌐 https://www.postpartum.net

  • 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
    If you are in crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 or use the chat feature at:
    🌐 https://988lifeline.org

  • National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
    24/7 emotional support, resources, and referrals from trained counselors.
    📞 Call or text 1-833-852-6262 (1-833-9-HELP4MOMS)
    🌐 https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline

Sources & References